Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon.

I will talk about a recent chain of events that left me feeling… well, so many things.

I talked with my half-brother H for the first time back in March. We have since collaborated on a project with a group of professionals. He is my father’s son from his second marriage. A generation apart, we didn’t grow up together. We were complete strangers. H is this kind, honest, thoughtful guy who happens to be super smart. He is a pro at help-seeking.

I’m the kind of person who anticipates others’ needs (correctly, most of the time) and provides accommodations (without being noticed, most of the time). I am also a lifelong freelancer who has spent decades adapting and obliging. It gets exhausting unless I watch my boundaries. As usual, I caught myself taking on what needed to be done and couldn’t quite stop myself… Guess what happened?

Two people pushed back. One time, E, one of the professionals H had enlisted for the project, quashed, “No. I have their email address. I can do that.” Another time, H gave me a flat-out rejection. “No. That’s too much. I’ll ask so and so to do that.” No. No. No.

Have you ever seen a Japanese drum performance? With large drums measuring 145cm (57 inches) in diameter and weighing 300kg (660 pounds)? The vibrations hit you and resonate throughout your body, creating an intense physical sensation. I felt something similar when I heard their No’s.

Okay, I thought. I was being ultra- accommodating, and someone other than myself instantly noticed, acknowledged, and pushed back. I am deeply uncomfortable. I feel like throwing up. Ohmygodthisfeelsamazing. I am delighted.

Being protected by real, living people is an experience radically and permanently different than practicing the art of self-protection. (I’m not making this up, psychologists say so! Check out the dog-in-a-cage experiment at the beginning of this book.

I am fiercely protective of the people I care about and those I share my space with, even for a short time. I’ve always been that way- at past jobs, blog events, or home hosting guests. But in work settings, I had rarely been the one protected. I started thinking, what if I find a teamwork environment where we protect each other?

Back to my question for ChatGPT.

I am an older Japanese woman living an hour’s train ride from Tokyo. I seek a fully remote, part-time position and/or contract work in Japan or overseas. What are the biggest fears and anxieties potential employers or clients may have about someone like me, as a potential employee/client/colleague?

When meeting someone for the first time, I ask the other person to share their worst fears in engaging with me, and share mine if the other person wishes me to. Not very often, but often enough for this prompt to come naturally to me.

Here is ChatGPT’s answer.

1.　Age-Related Bias

Employers may worry that older candidates are less tech-savvy, adaptable, or energetic.

2.　Remote Work Concerns

They may worry about time zone differences, communication issues, or reliability in a remote setting.

3.　Cultural and Language Barriers

Employers might be unsure about language proficiency, communication style, or cultural expectations.

I had a few ideas to address the concerns. One of them was to create a “What people are saying about me” page on my website and ask someone to give me a vouch. Then I got busy with the aforementioned project and put it on the back burner.

Inspired by my experience working with H and E, I recently asked friends to vouch for me. They took the time to read my ask letter and write their testimonials, which they sent to me. Tissue-grabbing moments ensued. How those messages made me feel, you have no idea.

You can read the testimonials here. Human-translated by me.

• what people are saying about me [English version]
• あゆう子はどういう人？紹介文まとめ [Japanese version]

What are your plans for the weekend?

I am going to 1. write to people I like 2. create new coaching packages 3. eat green leafy something

Be you~~~
Ayuko

today’s special

something new: a sacred and crafted alternative to direct mail
something read: “Don’t You Know Who I am?” by Ramani Durvasula, “Sacred Medicine” by Lissa Rankin, “Who Not How” by Dan Sullivan, a little bit of each