Record everything. Okay, that would be impossible. Let me retract that. Record as much as you can. Document.

Be as transparent as possible but.

Never share your inner life, your inner anything, with them or their people.

Never share your thoughts, opinions, feelings, etc. with them or their people.

Be civil (even when they are not). Pretend that all your conversations with them are recorded.

Visualize life without them (how does that feel?)

Journal.

If you don’t have a therapist, find one. Keep looking until you find one you like. Just keep looking. Don’t give up. Complain about a mediocre therapy session. But still, keep looking. Take time. Invest.

Find support, any support. Talk about it with anyone you feel safe with. Talk a little, talk a lot. Talk shallow, talk deep. Test out the waters. You need all the support you can get.

Always remember. It’s not you. It’s Not You.

Record everything. Minute, incomplete, thorough, quick, whatever. Don’t be a perfectionist about recording. They don’t have to be pretty or grammatical. Make it super easy to do this. Use a timestamp feature. Try different apps and find what works for you. Always have a place to jot things down. You don’t have to transcribe everything. Take photographs. Don’t delete emails. Archive everything. Always attend meetings with a notepad and a pen. Carry extra. If you’re working with an unsafe person.

Carry our presence with you. Because

you’re not alone.

today’s special

something new: added moongazing to my morning routine
something read: Lissa Rankin “Sacred Medicine,” Langston Hughes “I Wonder as I Wander: An Autobiography” a little bit of each